Best Friends Shouldn’t Know How You Taste Kindle
Best Friends Shouldn’t Know How You Taste Kindle – Friends help make life more meaningful. They provide social and emotional support, alleviate feelings of loneliness and help you feel happier and more fulfilled with your life.
Maintaining social connections can even extend your life and reduce your risk of mental and physical health problems, including depression and high blood pressure.
Best Friends Shouldn’t Know How You Taste Kindle
Toxic relationships can come in many forms, but generally they drain you spiritually and have a way of bringing you down instead of building you up.
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Wondering how to identify a toxic relationship? Not sure how to handle the situation or how it might affect you? We’re here to help with 25 tips on identifying and dealing with friends who cause more harm than good.
Everyone has good and bad days. On a bad day, kindness doesn’t always come easily, even with loved ones. So how can you tell the difference between a truly toxic friend and someone who was just having a bad day?
A good friend who is having a bad day may attack you or look away, but they will likely apologize once things calm down.
Toxic friends, on the other hand, tend to follow a pattern that never dies. They will show little remorse or be inclined to change, even when they realize they made you feel bad.
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Friends often joke with each other, and a little good-natured whining doesn’t mean your relationship is toxic, especially if you laugh too.
When a friend constantly acts out and makes you feel miserable, whether they use more subtle negative tactics or outright insults, your relationship may not be healthy.
You told something in secret to a friend, and the next day your entire social circle knows the information.
Anyone can slip up and say things they shouldn’t. Toxic friends may seem to enjoy spreading secrets around, even when you ask them to keep personal information private.
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When you call them out on their behavior, they dismiss your distress or give a flippant, “Sorry.”
Instead of taking the time to consider your point of view, they say, “I’m sorry you feel that way” or follow up their apology with a “but.”
Inconsistency alone doesn’t necessarily indicate someone is toxic, but when their comments can feel hurtful or offensive, it’s wise to proceed with caution.
No one is completely predictable, but it’s reasonable to expect that someone you trust will express their feelings in safe, healthy ways.
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They can get very irritated and yell at you over little things, like forgetting to turn off the TV or not returning a jacket they lent you. Then, the next minute they act like nothing happened.
Spending time with a good friend should generally make you feel good. Maybe spending time with a special friend makes you uncomfortable or upset.
You may not even have a good explanation why, but when you leave them, you feel more relieved than disappointed, and you don’t look forward to spending time with them.
If you notice this feeling of insecurity, consider examining your relationship for other signs that things aren’t quite right.
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Do you have a friend who likes to point out the ways in which you don’t measure up with their other friends? Maybe your apartment is smaller than X’s apartment and therefore less pleasant to live with. Or dressing more like a Y will make you cooler.
People have their own unique characteristics and differences, and a good friend will recognize that. They do not compare you to others or imply that you are somehow less than another person. They also certainly don’t use peer pressure to make you do things you’d rather not do.
Ever had a fair weather friend? They pop in when things are going well or when they need something, but when
Some friends can go on for an hour about their recent problems. When they have finished venting, they offer a sign: “And how are you?” before quickly turning the conversation back to themselves.
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Real friends don’t just accept. They also offer sympathy for your concerns, in good, bad, or anywhere in between. Try to change yourself
A true friend understands that people have different personalities, and accepts you for who you are. If you ask for guidance about something you’d like to change, they’ll likely offer support and encouragement – but they’ll likely wait for you to ask instead of telling you what to do.
Say you struggle in social situations and want to get better at meeting new people. Maybe a close friend suggests you come to their next game night so they can introduce other friends in a comfortable setting.
A toxic relationship can have a big impact on your overall well-being – and not in a positive way. Spending time with people who don’t care about your feelings can take a toll on your emotions
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If you notice any of the following signs after spending time with a friend, you may want to consider reevaluating the relationship.
A toxic relationship can make you feel out of place. You reach out to make plans, but you’re left out of group events and your messages go unanswered (unless, of course, they need something from you).
They don’t seem to want to spend time with you, and their friendship doesn’t fulfill you or feel like a friendship at all.
Less stress is one major benefit of a strong relationship. Seeing friends may not always make you feel 100 percent better, but you may see an improvement.
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A toxic friend, who does not help with stress relief, can contribute to it. They may say or do things that annoy you when you spend time together, for example.
Even when you’re not with them, you can spend a lot of time thinking back on your negative interactions, which can leave you feeling tense, irritated, even downright awful.
True friends provide support when you need it. Of course, this support is not always available. At the very least, friendship usually involves listening with empathy and offering validation for distress and pain.
In a toxic relationship, you never feel that support or empathy. You feel less when they dismiss your problems or completely ignore you if they don’t respond to your messages or requests for help.
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When someone constantly puts you down and treats you badly, you can start to accept this behavior and expect nothing better.
As you begin to believe what they put down and begin to doubt your own strengths and abilities, your self-esteem may begin to decline.
When they hit you, you may believe you deserve it. You may decide that they will not offer support because you ask for help too often. So you try to make it up for them by stepping in when they need something.
You might even be grateful that they spend time with you, because after all, they have pointed out so many of your flaws.
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People who behave in toxic ways often use manipulation to get what they want. Treatment often leaves the impression that something is not quite right, even if you can’t identify exactly what.
You may feel like you never know the right thing to say or do. They may make subtle digs at you or openly mock you, leaving you unsure if they mean what they say.
Their reactions (or overreactions) can unbalance you further. Sometimes they laugh things off, sometimes they cry. Not knowing what’s going to happen can be so confusing that you’re not sure how to proceed—except with extreme care.
As soon as you start to doubt yourself, you can see yourself as a poor friend. Even if you don’t start doubting yourself, you may find it hard to trust others. You may wonder if everyone sees you as flawed, boring or unsupportive and starts avoiding people as a result.
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This can keep you from seeking support from people who really care, making you feel more isolated and alone.
You have two main options. You might want to try talking to your friend first. It is possible that they do not understand how unpleasant their behavior is. If you want to save the friendship, this might be a good first choice. The other option involves ending the relationship.
If they behave in self-centered ways without showing overt malice, talking to them about the consequences of their behavior can improve things.
Use “I” statements and other productive communication techniques to start a conversation. Be open about how the behavior makes you feel and consider setting boundaries for future interactions.
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For example: “I feel hurt when I hear negative comments about my hair or clothes. Please don’t make fun of my style choices in the future.”
If the relationship isn’t doing anything good for you, and your conversation hasn’t helped them at all, it might be time to end it. The same goes for friendships that cross over into abusive territory.
You can tell someone how their actions affect you, but you can’t force them to change. They have to do it on their own, and not everyone is willing to make the effort.
They may promise to change and treat you better over time. But if they start believing you again or revert to other toxic behavior patterns, it’s better to move on.
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If you spend a lot of time wishing a friend would treat you better, why not take a break from them for a while and see what changes?
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